Dichotomy

In life we face choices

to kneel or to pray

to peel or to spray

words of hate on your heart or out on the streets under the bridges

burn them down, I don’t care

just make sure you don’t come crying back and diving for your soul

we preach and teach them not to impeach

because love is all we got and money is all you need

terrorism is bad but too much love is out of the question

a good businessman is not the altruistic one

service is self serving and charity is just a good name for a girl

sisters, unite and brothers start a fight because gender norms are supposed to be broken

homosexuality is a choice and you can choose your parents too

planned adulthood, they say and they criticize you for earning money

defenestrating your dream

words you don’t know should make you reach for the dictionary

but then again, don’t show signs of weakness

don’t let them know that you don’t know

pretend

authentically

methodically

preaching, teaching

see, churches and schools have much in common when it comes to

saying one thing and doing another

 

sometimes I don’t understand what I don’t understand

because

I do something right and somehow its wrong in the rightest way

and heir with minute loans

spend a life time paying back your loans and then tell your son to

chase his dreams

just like you did

you yourself only started yesterday

 

so don’t tell me which road to take

don’t tell me to take the time to smell your flowers or stop by the woods

and then rush me into making lifetime decisions I might regret

but you shall regret nothing and

there is only do or don’t, no try

but trying too hard gets you in trouble

theres just no way out

 

yeah I can take the one less travelled by, sure

but I don’t want to sigh at the end

I want to know I did the right thing

the one that feels good in my heart

no one elses

because at the end its my life

but its still jesus’s life and I owe it to my mom and dad and my best friend from childhood

and my girlfriend or my wife

and also to my grandparents who made it possible for me and for their legacy

or thats what all the basketball superstars say when theyve made it

and its true

the people who have been supporting me the whole way is the real mvp

see, id always rather get the most improved player than the most valuable because

that to me is better

being the best is awesome but

im always chasing something, man

its hard, though

its hard to chase after something when you don’t know where to go

or how fast

should you slightly jog or hold onto the horn of the saddle and trot

a full-on sprint is never full-on until you’re being chased by something

but you also need to be chasing something to be running in the first place

 

im decisive

I dont know what I want

dont tell me what to do

help me figure things out on my own

im an adult now

ill hear what you have to say

and ill build on your critiques for my next revision of this blank script

but I really don’t know

 

cause as long as theres food on the table that’s okay

at least we have a table, my friend once said

caring too much makes me hurt she says and weeps because she doesn’t fit in

so tell me

why does she have to cry

I thought we were supposed to care about the small things and think about things in a bigger perspective and

maybe theres more to the fact that shes a vegetarian than the double zero prom dress tucked neatly in her closet

but I suppose we don’t have enough time for that or

any other choice

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